coming out of the winter…

thank You for not always giving me what i want.
thank You for knowing what is best.
thank You for always giving me what i want (‘what i really really want’).
thank You for being kind.
thank You for loving me so well.
but i don’t always see it, or know it, feel it, or believe it.

it’s like in Tangled. it’s like in real life and in Truth. — the Enemy tries to convince us that the one who loves us the most
is the one who has abandoned us.

never, never, never.
never is that true.
You never have abandoned us.
You have promised not to.

You have kept Your promises.

‘come, let us return to the LORD;
for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
after two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up,
that we may live before him.
let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;
his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
as the spring rains that water the earth.’
hosea 6:1-3

let us know You
and love You

(like i’ve prayed all along,
and it has gotten me into trouble —
i’ve asked to know You and to love You
and i have SUFFERED and DIED and WEPT and WEPT and WEPT and

You have healed us.
i have found, always, that it was better than it could have been without the suffering
— because we are human, because this earth is butwillnotalwaysbe unredeemed, because of fear and of darkness and temptation and wrongness and sin —

but You are faithful.
You are faithful to Your children.
You are faithful to Your Word.
You are good.
You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of all things.

You are faithful.
You are faithful.
You are faithful.

and You are making me a mountain —
a mountain that looks to You, that is built on the foundation of who You are,
that cannot be shaken and cannot be moved,
because of the Rock that is Christ.

oh, thank You for faith… it is Your faith. ever.)

always.

thank You for Your faithfulness…
thank You that i have seen it.

coming out of the winter, —
in the snow,
i was unsure of the product,
of the result of all the snowbound snowcovered snowMESS over me,
not knowing if i was in the right place or if i had been wrong or what i had done or had avoided.

and i learned — i think i learned —
i think i am learning —

that i was in the right place all along.

my many hopes
& my many fears
were meant to bring me here
all along.

He was right.

He was right.

He was right all along.

i’ll find greater comfort
if i just lay down and die
[i am seeing] what’s become of a girl who once knew sunshine
what’s become of a girl who knew sorrow but was STRONG!
hey, mr. King — You were right all along.

i am becoming
the girl
who Knows Sunshine
who Has Known Sorrow
but is Strong.
(with all the Strength & Grace of her Lover and Creator.
hallelujah.)

and the Shallow People,
the On-the-Edge People,
the People that Hold On and Don’t Know Him
don’t have to understand.
they don’t have to admire it,
they don’t have to see with the Ocean’s Eyes,
with the Eyes that see the Fire and the Truth and the LIGHT ~

{but oh, make him Yours forever, make You the affection of His Heart (oh, already You are becoming, already You are becoming, mmmmhmmmmmm) — make You his Grand Desire (oh, You are),
ensure him of Your Peace, Lord.
open his eyes to have Ocean Eyes,
eyes for seeing Hawaiian Hope (do You remember that purple notebook?)
and moon jellies and Light ~
You have shown him all the time and make it so.
Yours.}

and make me Thine forever.
i’m already feeling the bewilderment and the question of Truth & Hope.
oh – here. Christian music again.

but we are alive.
We are alive.
We are alive in You.

and YOU are alive in US.

we love You. let us love You more.

love You.
{dwelling in Your Presence the whole day long}

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